Tuesday, September 9, 2008

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

The semester has started and I have begun the mundane routine of things from classes to studying to hanging out at the apartment. Things are definitely reverting back to freshman year. When there was no idea, no perception of how the world was, just each day at a time. I feel just as lost as when I first started but there is also a sense of freedom, no set agenda no pre-conceived notions, just me. I have to say many things remind me of last year and how things used to be. I cant help but think that there world is the same just through another person eyes. Like instead of the three little pigs, its the wolf's story. This is probably because I see the same faces at the same events but things are not the same, I am not the same. Moving on is one of the hardest things to do. Its hard to see the same faces and not remind  yourself of the pain brought on by the separation.
No matter how much you grow there will be a time when you revert back. I feel like I have grown up so much since freshman year, I have gained so much insight but here I am still a child, captured by my own imagination. I feel like I am going at a pace that is one step forward two steps back. Which technically means no progression. Now this isn't the way things always have to be but for now this is the rhythm of the dance. I just pray that I am not hardened so much from the small heartbreaks and am still able to believe.
On other note: It took me three weeks into the semester to realize that my toxicology class starts at 5:30 rather then 6:00.

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