Why Get Married?

I have some very strong beliefs and opinions. They are not necessarily open minded or politically correct. In fact I think being a Christian makes me somewhat less open minded then my formal education teaches me to be. Meaning I don’t like to judge people but if the BIBLE says it’s wrong, then it’s wrong. END of story!

Lately it seems that every time I open the yahoo homepage there is a new story of a couple divorcing (yes, it is Hollywood) but still! Seal and Heidi I am speaking to you!  And what about Jada and will?  Please don’t even get me started on AL and Tipper.  I just don’t understand this…”I just wasn’t happy anymore” mentality. What is the point of marriage if divorce is an option.

How can people just treat it so whimsically?  Love is not something to tread into accidentally and fall out of simply. Marriage is not something of convenience nor is divorce to be “celebrated” in the words of Brad Pitt. Marriage is something sacred. It is a vow to love someone till the end of life. If it no longer means that….then why get married?

Keep in mind, that I am not married and have never been in a relationship. So I know, I am being extremely high and mighty with my lofty statements. I can’t help but wonder since I am so firmly against divorce if my marriage will be one that teaches me why people consider divorce. Have you ever felt that way when standing against something? That one day you will be given a test to make you hold true to your words?

Thoughts/Comments/questions/concerns: I would love to hear them! Leave a comment!

Boys & Girls- Best Friends or Worst Enemies?

Dear Reader:

I need your help:

So over my short lifetime I have come across several of these situations, Boy (John) and Girl (Jane) are best friends, no romantic intentions but they are each others confidants. No this is not a movie pretense or summary, it's real life. Is it healthy? Is it possible?

It’s a question asked time and time again by each generation, the older generations who have been there, done that, will probably say “NO” this is just a quick and easy way for you to get burned. After all, they don’t make movies about best friends of opposite gender who remain platonic with no sudden realization that they are each others soul mates….that just would not sell.

Why is it then that each generation feels the need to try and prove to the generation before them that this scenario is still possible, that there can be two friends who are of the opposite gender who feel nothing for each other than philo love? That they can remain friends even after both parties have married a significant other?

I have been pondering this situation for some time.  I have had friends galore who have been burned by the “best friend” role, swearing that it doesn’t work because one person will become too attached and the other person will move on too quickly. I have friends who are currently swearing that a member of the opposite gender is their best friend, the one they trust with secrets and funny minute happenings of each day. We have had discussions in small groups regarding the matter.  I have heard both sides of the argument but have yet to come to a solid conclusion.

So reader, tell me, is this situation dangerously walking on lines that shouldn’t be crossed or is it just the primal immaturity that causes us to shy away from close friendships of the opposite sex? I would love to hear your thoughts. Post a comment!

The Facebook Dilemma ( A humorous excerpt):

Dear Gentleman (or ladies if this applies to you):

I realize that you may be older, and you may think that you are above the mundane, routine, childish, antics of Facebook, and have thus decided to for-go this medium of social networking.  You should really  get one, you have no idea what you are missing out on.

Most girls, if they see you and are interested in you are not going to walk by with a seductive smile and pass you their phone number on a coffee napkin (we don’t live in movies). In fact, I don’t encourage girls to do that at all. The first move is not our job. But on the off chance we are interested in your charming personality and looks, and we have no way of formally introducing (or even if we did). The most subtlest hint of our intentions can be shown through the simple act of either adding or accepting your friend request. It’s a simple non-committal way of finding out a little bit more about you and what you’re all about.  But If you have decided that facebook isn’t for you….

Just imagine all the potential, in fact you might already be married.

Just Saying

Regina Roy

Soluble Marriage

The contents of this article are not in anyway related to me, I have never once felt this way or expressed desires towards marriage. I don’t feel lonely EVER. =) That being said:

Every Malu Pentecostal girl has at one point or time in their life felt that marriage would be the solution to their problems. Okay, so maybe like me, you don’t like to admit it but somewhere deep down (for some of us DEEP DEEP DEEP DOWN) you have to admit that your thoughts have strayed along these lines before.  Why you ask?

I have an odd number of people in my family. I have noticed that my mom has my dad, my brothers (twins) have each other and I have…..winnie the pooh?. So from young age I have felt that I had to right this wrong and find someone to be my partner. Many of you LADIES may find yourself in this very same boat- you look around and you need someone to fill the void.

Most girls in our community are limited to having to stay at home even after college (except of course for MARILY JACOB) which put limits on what they can do. There are always questions (even if your going to church) who are you going with, why are you going, FOR WHAT PURPOSE (why don’t you just stay at home and help mummy). So girls tend to think that if (sorry WHEN) they get married they can come and go as they please no questions asked.

Thirdly women (EVEN STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMEN) like to feel defended. Not all the time, but its nice not to fight every battle single handedly and to be able to turnaround and say you take this one.

Every Disney movie that I have known has ended with the girl getting the guy, them getting married and living “happily every after”. This only furthers our façade that life just moves in perfect harmony after that, the first step is all that’s needed and the rest is wedded bliss.

For these reason and many more, many women easily fall into the trap of believing that marriage can solve their problems. I am not here to tell you that marriage is a bad thing, in fact IT’S A GREAT THING, but if you go into thinking your going to solve problems, you’re probably in for a rude awakening. Marriage has added perks- the prince charming we have been dreaming of our entire lives, comes and sweeps us off our feet, but what then? Do we simply have no more problems?

Forgive me for being skeptical, but somewhere along the line we have to wake up and realize that their might be problems and we have to learn that marriage isn’t a solution only a promise to find solutions together with another person.

Dear Ladies, I too have fallen for this dream world in which the problems are solved and life is perfect (these days a little more than I would like), but I rest assured knowing that these are the days that I am growing, learning about myself, making the mistakes I need to make to become the proverbs 31 wife that God has called me to be. Plus the single life has its perks too. So enjoy the time we have now, because once its gone, there isn’t really anything we can do to get it back. 

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