Dear Reader:
I need your help:
So over my short lifetime I have come across several of these situations, Boy (John) and Girl (Jane) are best friends, no romantic intentions but they are each others confidants. No this is not a movie pretense or summary, it's real life. Is it healthy? Is it possible?
It’s a question asked time and time again by each generation, the older generations who have been there, done that, will probably say “NO” this is just a quick and easy way for you to get burned. After all, they don’t make movies about best friends of opposite gender who remain platonic with no sudden realization that they are each others soul mates….that just would not sell.
Why is it then that each generation feels the need to try and prove to the generation before them that this scenario is still possible, that there can be two friends who are of the opposite gender who feel nothing for each other than philo love? That they can remain friends even after both parties have married a significant other?
I have been pondering this situation for some time. I have had friends galore who have been burned by the “best friend” role, swearing that it doesn’t work because one person will become too attached and the other person will move on too quickly. I have friends who are currently swearing that a member of the opposite gender is their best friend, the one they trust with secrets and funny minute happenings of each day. We have had discussions in small groups regarding the matter. I have heard both sides of the argument but have yet to come to a solid conclusion.
So reader, tell me, is this situation dangerously walking on lines that shouldn’t be crossed or is it just the primal immaturity that causes us to shy away from close friendships of the opposite sex? I would love to hear your thoughts. Post a comment!
3 comments:
Interesting. Um idk I have a circle of close friends (no "best friend(s)" and some of those people include guys who have been like family to me... mostly from going through the torture of IB in high school. There's a lot of sincerity and trust between us. Same thing I can say of my friends from college. I wonder why this rarely happens in the malu community though. Esp since we're Christians and the Bible clearly says treat one another like brothers and sisters with love and purity. But God always kept the right people in my life at the right time so I can't really complain.
-Manju
I just decided to do a post replying to this, instead.
http://marilyjacob.wordpress.com/2011/08/20/he-gets-hotter-by-the-second/
I think it really depends on the maturity of the person. When you are young you fall in love with a person according to worldly standards.. "he's funny, sweet, smart and nice." The problem with that is that you can let yourself fall for anyone that way.
But when you grow to trust God, you realize love isn't about finding a guy, it's about finding the guy that God has for you. And when you realize that, you don't fall for a guy even if he is your best friend just because you and he have "comfortable silences" but because through prayer, God has shown you that he is the one you should love.
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