So I realized something. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a realization it was more of an acknowledgement of something that just is. I am attention hungry. Not in the rude obnoxious, pay attention to me, me, me, me, all the time way. I am not selfish. I don’t believe that I am anything special but I expect to be the center of attention for those that love me or care for me. I like to know that I am the shining star in their lives. Maybe this is because this is how it has always been. I can’t tell you exactly why things are this way but I can tell you that is how they are. For example I like to know that my parents secretly love me best ;) I generally like to be in a state of approval from all peers and professors. I like being favored (don’t know if I could have survived as LEAH).
As I acknowledged this or allowed this thought to enter, I also decided I was going to admit something else. I wanted my husband (future) to love me in the same way. I wanted to be number one on his list. The only person he cares about. And if I were being perfectly honest I would admit that sometimes my selfish nature would want to be loved even over his love for God. (WAIT) (WAIT) – (don’t stop reading). I mean I never understood the people that would want a husband that Loved God first and for-most. The selfish attention-seeker inside did not want to permit a greater love then I received.
It wasn’t until I got older and became more mature (not all that much) as a Christian did I realize the content of this prayer. Ladies, you want a man that loves God FIRST. Without God, we don’t know what LOVE is. It becomes just an emotion or a feeling. FEELINGS don’t get you through hard times or rough patches. In fact, feelings have this awful habit of fading due to circumstances. God is LOVE. Therefore he teaches us how to love like he has. If your man can love God more than anything else, being second best isn’t going to leave anything lacking in your life. The same concept applies to men or parents. Parents, take a minute and think. If you can learn to love God more then your children you can learn to give your children the right kind of love.
I know this hard to swallow, and even harder to practice. I can tell you honestly in my life that sometimes God takes second or even third place when it comes to my list of loves. I want to love God first cause if I learn to do that then I can show perfect love to all others in my love.
Just a thought for the evening. Happy thinking.
0 comments:
Post a Comment