My Friend Got a NEW SLR now he takes prof. PICS

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Dear Reader

Is it bad that I came back to___________. And have fallen madly and deeply in love all over again and never want to leave. I mean yes I am now a resident of _______. But its almost like coming to new york city when I return home. I feel the HOLIDAYS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Barnes and Nobel and CARAMEL FRAPS, and chats with my honorary sister. Okay so last week was crazy-cRAZY. I mean three test, a presentation, and a project crazy. To make matters worse they thought that since we would be bored at the end of the week they tagged on some stupid three page evaluation (insert face to pharmacy school). This week is relatively calm (all though it shoudnt be) Its the false calm before the huge storm about to hit next week. I am currently working on my portfolio (or I SHOULD BE) but all i can think about is the christmas music that is playing and the chilly weather and the myriads of book surrounding me. For now i am content.

Where'd All the Good People Go?

When I was younger there were times when I really wanted the power rangers to lose, or Yugio to not win a duel for once. Although, I like many of you am a big supporter of Poetic Justice (The good guy wins and justice is restored), I have come to realize that its not all black and white there are some major shades of grey. See the concept of poetic justice is just nice, you always want the good guy to win and evil to be defeated and get what's coming to them. Unfortunately in the real world it is difficult to distinguish between the good guy and the bad guy. How can you deem what is good and bad? From my point of view, I am always the good guy, but what about from the other guys point of view. Ever felt like wolf? or how about the step sister or stepmother? I mean all our lives we have decided that the evil stepmother was the bad guy or the wolf was just evil but what if we saw it from their eyes. History is more of the same, It is simply the story of the winner. We are so sure that the south was the bad guy in the civil war because the north won but what was the real story down south? Lets not forget how britain must have felt during the revolution, yet the we were most def. the good guy because we won and thats what history taught us, right? The thing is life doesn't quite work like this, every person in their own right claims that they are the good guy, no one wakes up and thinks I am the bad guy. So if everyone's good who is bad? And who deserves the punishment that comes from poetic justice or my favorite quote "why do bad things happen to good people". Who deemed these people good? Themselves?? So basically this quote is saying that bad things should happen to bad people but then who are the bad people. The point is man is in no way good. We are inherently all bad, we are not better then the next guy, we are selfish, seeking out only for ourselves and our good. It is only by the grace of God that we are able to develop the fruit of the spirit which makes us better but still not GOOD. Good is a term that I would

Melt Downs and More

So many of you ...or all 5 of you who have been reading are probably wondering whats up with all the encouraging post. So here is the story (for those who haven't called and found out).

Last monday I took a physiology exam, not different from any of the other physiology test I take every other week. From the start of pharmacy school I have been getting better, I mean it was a struggle. When they tell you that its hard...well IT IS....you really don't have time for yourself. Coming from laid back under grad when I thought my once in a month OCHEM test was over the top....pharmacy school is suicide.

So last monday I was pumped for my physiology test over the kidneys.....I mean who needs their kidneys anyway.. I ALWAYS knew mine hated me due to the mass amount of carbonated beverage in take. Since I have been steadily getting better and my grades were improving, I assumed that I would be acing this test no probs. I get to the exam, and I cant tell the difference between the renal artery and afferent tubule versus efferent tubule versus proximal tubule. BASICALLY I am screwed. I walk out the test feeling completely bummed. I get the grade back and instead of moving upward I am again moving backward. (SEE the thing is as soon as you pick up a stride for yourself and you think you got it....BAM....they are here to teach you that you dont.)

NOT knowing what else to do I start balling.....(dont worry I waited till i got home)...then I called my mom...(PS. not a good Idea). And I am balling to the point of not breathing, and she kept trying to calm me down but it didnt help. She is assuming that I am failing pharmacy school and I don't really correct her, I just keep balling, and she tells me its okay.... ITS NOT OKAY. But somehow I managed to calm down and start the studying for the next exam/ presentation which is due. She kept calling me to make sure I was okay (probably in fear that I was going to commit suicide) I mean I was also mad at God ...where I am pretty sure I told the maker of the universe that he HATED ME....and then decided that he was mean.

The point is God doesnt hate me....I am just blinded by my own insecurites like all the time that I forget that he has always had my back. I think my lack of understanding at what his will is makes me insecure in his abilities to lead me and to have control of my life. Like you think that God can't or won't . SO you try your best to kick butt all on your own. You end up like superman with no superpowers...basically you are bound to fail.

Have you ever thought to yourself I know God can, the question is will he? And what can I do to make him?? DO i pray more, do I cry out. And if God wont then why pray? I mean why pray if in the end no matter if you do or not the result is the same. Answer: Peace. Its going to be okay, the answer to the question isnt will he or wont he its knowing that hes got you regardless of the result. HE's directing the movie and your just watching. Sit back he knows whats going to happen.

Thanks to a close friend I came across a realization. As I told him my sob story, he told me that I need to quit relying on myself. He asked my why I called my mom first rather then balling to my heavenly father....(why did I blame him?) I was the one who wanted to try and do this on my own. Who am I to blame when I ask God to make me dependent on him and to teach me to do this and then get mad at him for letting me fail at being independent? Its like a catch-22. (God probably shrugs). So the past week was a learning experience. It brought me closer to him and taught me to think back to all the things in my life God has done. ANd to keep on keeping on.

As for my mom..... she is a worry wort...I specifically told her not to tell anyone, next thing i know my grandparents are subtly encouraging me (to which I make a face). Then slowly day by day the church my members are calling and praying. Basically the entire church was down on their knees for my one exam. Which is very humbling. Although at first I was a little upset at my mom, its amazing to see the love that your family and church family have for you. THANKS GUYS. I love you. She started crying when I told her that I wasnt failing pharmacy school...haha but thanks to every single prayer I did well on my test.

Psalm 55:22

"Give your worries to the lord, and he will take care of you. He will never let good people down"

Pure Hearts

Psalm 51

"God be merciful to me because your unfailing love, because you are always ready to be merciful"-verse 1

"Give me back the joy of your salvation. keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit"-verse 12

Sometimes I feel like David. I feel like David's Psalms could be his blog entries. They sound a lot like my prayers. Its funny because you would think that David, being the chaser of God's own heart was always speaking words of praise and encouragement, and that he always knew what he was doing and where he was going. The truth is David was just as lost as any of us. I cant count the number of times I have called out to God and cried "where are you and what are you doing??"  The thing I love the most about Psalms is that the verses start of like this, with David yelling at God or being upset at God because he thinks God has stopped caring but it always ends with David having a resolution or understanding of God's unfailing and unchanging love. The next time your soul is downcast and you find yourself yelling at God, just remember David and wait for the end of your psalm.

Words of Encouragement

I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT because in Phillipians 4:13 says:
I (YOU) CAN DO EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENTH."

-(__________)

You gotta love family: when you're down, they pray with you and send you facebook messages in the morning with versus. This particular one is from my cousin, who is younger then me by the way. All my life I have given her advice, but its nice to know that in my time of need she was the older one taking care of me.

P.S. I stayed up until about two cleaning my overly messy room. Believe me it was a mess!

TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER, OF THIS I HAVE FAITH

Count Your Blessings

Okay so I stole this from another blog: I mean the song ...I read it today and I had a rough day and it really helped. Ill post it, so that when you are down or sad...youll sing and it will make you feel better:

"when upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,

when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

count your many blessings, name them one by one,

and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

chorus: count your blessings, name them one by one,

count your blessings, see what God hath done!

count your blessings, name them one by one,

and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

are you ever burdened with a load of care?

does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

count your many blessings, every doubt will fly;

and you will keep singing as the days go by.

when you look at others with their lands and gold,

think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

count your many blessings. wealth can never buy

your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

so, amid the conflict whether great or small,

do not be disheartened, God is over all;

count your many blessings, angels will attend,

help and comfort give you to your journey's end."

Here is My list:

1. God-thanks all though I dont say it often enough and sometimes I am angry with you-Thank you for forgiving me even in my unfaithfulness

2. Family-I love my family, although they call incessantly to find out whether or not I have eaten. I miss them

3. Friends- Thank you, and All of you who read this are all my friends= Thanks for encouraging me when I needed it and putting up with my selfish crap

4. The opportunity to work with United-they are the most amazing kids, and I have learned so much- I am thankful for this opportunity

5. Pharmacy School-Although the cause of much suffering, I am thankful that despite my unworthiness I was granted acceptance

6. Blog- I know I know I am not a real writer or journalist and maybe no one else other then the few handful read this, but it gives me an outlet and for that I will always be greatful.

That's My Cup of Tea

There are those days when things just seem to be all over the place, when your papers are flying, your jittery, your tired ,and you are just overall cranky. In order to keep moving and keep functional one of the things that I do is drink a cup of tea. I was in the habit of drinking tea during the last year of my undergrad. A habit I picked up while doing research. The grad student I worked under would always start off the day with a warm cup of tea, and although I was previously coffee only drinker I was intrigued. Being from an Indian family I always thought that tea had to have milk, and without it, it would taste utterly gross. That was before I realized that they have different flavors of tea and they are actually quite pleasing. In fact I am almost proud to say that I got my entire apartment to become tea drinkers There are those that might say that they are a firm coffee drinker so they would never feel satisfied with the effects of tea. I am here to tell you that the two are not mutually exclusive. In fact I love coffee I drink it when I need to stay awake and keep focused and be sharp. I drink tea for a completely different reason. Tea relaxes me, it calms me down after an extremely stressful day. Studies show that Tea helps cognitivially by stimulating your brain. I can attest to this, I feel so much more relaxed and ready to knock things off my to-do list. Recently I had the opportunity to drive to ______, which is a bigger city, I had to stop by the local Barnes and noble and pick up a tin of tea. I cant tell you how good it felt. So I have decided to share with you my small joy just in case you wanted to pick up on it.

Here is my pick:

Harney and Sons Fine Teas-Hot cinnamon sunset-price:10.95 (in my defense you get 30 satchels)

Enjoy = )

OverDraft:

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft, I will not go overdraft

Incredible isn't it, how banks can suddenly slap an overdraft fee for going over by 1 dollar. Talk about a capitalistic machine. Don't be fooled by the free water bottles and coolers or even the ample amount of candy that seems to be waiting right at your fingertips. Banks are truly only in it for the money.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I am every accountant's worst nightmare, I swipe but keep no record. My idea of balancing includes a call to the bank on the 1-800 toll free number and having the automated machine tell me the balance. Actually, normally it is a finger cross dance, one in which I am praying my overspending has not caught up to me. Yesterday it did. I find out that I have overspent about a 1.53$. I near had a heart attack when they told me the balance, which was negative. Whatever happened to the bank just rejecting your bill? I would much rather endure the sheer embarrassment for a few seconds then the regret of paying 37 dollars for a burrito. I mean seriously? Seriously? The sad thing is we give banks this kind of power. We are the ones responsible for our own banking, don't allow the bank to make revenue off of you. Its time we become more responsible for our money. Lets face it, we hold the power in this relationship, without us the banks are nothing. ITS TIME WE TAKE CONTROL AND SHOW THE BANK WHO IS BOSS! (we do this by keeping a balanced check book =) ) Any thoughts on the absurdities of overdraft fees. Post your comments =)

P.S- Those random telephone employees for the banks have gotten lonely since the invention of online banking, I think you should give them a call so they could clean up some of their customer service skills and still have a job =) 

that is all.

Resources:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/a-warning-for-frequent-debit-card-swipers-531472/

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/09/your-money/credit-and-debit-cards/09debit.html

Dear Void:

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?
I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight, dear void.

BIg Bird Meets Google

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA: This is Dedicated to the one and only big bird =)

Letter to Congressman:

CONGRESSMAN PETE SESSIONS


PARK CENTRAL VII
12750 MERIT DRIVE,

SUITE 1434


DALLAS, TEXAS 75251-1229

Dear Congressman Sessions:

My name is _____. I am a first year pharmacy student at the _______. I am writing to express my concerns with the upcoming health care reform bill. Although our legislatures are currently working to produce a health-care solution that best addresses the nation's public health needs, I feel that the bill in its current form fails to address a very critical component of any health-care reform, namely the role of the pharmacist. The bill in its current state does not clearly define and outline the role and contribution of pharmacists in the health-care system.

To correct this, I propose that we should seriously consider the results of the Asheville project and implement this project nationally as part of the current health-care reform plan. In 1996 employers for a local company in Asheville, North Carolina, conducted an experiment in which pharmacists took on the role of primary care managers for their employees. As a result, pharmacists were more actively involved in the lives of their patients and the results indicated that the employees missed fewer workdays and had better health overall. This is an excellent model for the role of pharmacists in the health-care system that can be followed nation-wide. Many of the leaders of the American Pharmacist Association are actively pushing for this model to be implemented. This project would give a definite outline for the role of pharmacists with regards to health care in the upcoming health-care reforms.

In conclusion, I feel that more emphasis should be placed on the role of pharmacists in the health care system. The best way to go about this would be to implement the Asheville Project nationally. Thank you for taking the time to consider this proposition.

Sincerely yours,

_________________

“Adding wings to caterpillars 

does not create butterflies --it creates awkward and 

dysfunctional caterpillars. Butterflies are created through 

transformation.” 

Stephanie Pace Marshall

snow white

My best friend sent me this, I thought it was very apt.

Happy Halloween

Alright this post was meant for october 31st. But I am a little bit behind. (this is due to enormous laziness on my part-all I have been able to do is sleep and do nothing productive-ps this will reap plenty of negative consequences.) So here is the rant:

Has anyone else noticed how much more importance halloween has taken over the past couple of years? I mean seriously is it even a holiday? What is it celebrating. I always thought it was holiday meant to dress children up and get free candy. When you get older apparently its an excuse for binge drinking and excessive partying. I wonder what that says about the state of our society if we will use any excuse to pop open a bottle and drink the night away?

The origins of halloween lie behind several ancient traditions which include celebrating the dead, the belief that ghost exist and come back to life, the fear of them recognizing you (thus hiding behind mask), and to appease them the onset of food (ie candy). http://www.history.com/content/halloween/real-story-of-halloween/today-s-traditions

I for one will say that I think its cute when kids dress up as fairies and pumpkins and such, since I love fall so much, but why do adults need to celebrate? What are they celebrating? The point of the holiday was to hide behind the mask so ghost wouldn't recognize you, why then has the holiday become an excuse for people to show so much unneeded skin? I simply dont understand?

It makes me sad to see that our society has become one that will use any excuse to drive themselves to a bottle until oblivion, or for ladies to show of all they have been hiding? What will this entail for the future generations. Just a thought to ponder.